Baby You Can Drive My Car
by LaueHime
Summary: Written for a prompt on LJ. One shot. Dean's got a bad sneezy cold and Sam's not about to let his big brother kill them both on the road. Still, they can't possibly stop. Their solution? Put Dean in the back seat. It doesn't keep him from bickering though. Full prompt inside.


**Title: **Baby You Can Drive My Car  
**Author:** LaueHime  
**Rating:** PG  
**Genre/pairing:** Humor, Family, Gen  
**Characters:** Sam, Dean  
**Word count:** 989  
**Summary: **Written for Tarotgal's prompt on her comment fic meme on LJ "Dean's got a really bad, super sneezy cold. So sneezy he can't possibly drive. But they can't stop, not even for a night. So Sam tucks him into the back seat of the impala. Bonus Points: Dean is sniffly and unable to drive but totally able to criticize Sam's driving.."

**Disclaimer:** The show belongs to Kripke.

**A/N:** Here's another meme I wrote. Yes, it's totally not my usual style but I've been writing funny stuff for a while and I kinda love it!

SNSN

Dean had been off for days with that damn virus. At first it had been his head that was pounding as if there had been a hyperactive heavy metal drummer practicing a solo against his skull. And along came the itchy eyes and the runny nose. It wouldn't have been so bad, hadn't they needed to get across the country like yesterday.

Dean had hardly gotten a few hours of shut eye and his nosy passenger wasn't making things easy either. Sam had been riding shotgun the whole time, constantly pestering about taking some time off to play nurses. Dean had shrugged him off at every shot. He even once mentioned something like "if you're unhappy you can put those awfully long legs of yours to action". Sam had snorted at that.

But Dean reached a point where he couldn't ignore it anymore. He may as well hang a recipient under his nose to collect the leaky goo that seemed to run out of him from inexhaustible resources. Where did all that come from anyway? He'd been wasting endless Kleenex boxes. Could there really be anything left in him to sneeze? Just as he prayed it would all be over soon, he realized the nightmare he was still very much in when his nose started to tingle.

His mouth reflexively gaped and every attempt on his side to remain subtle died when Sam turned desperate eyes to him. The tingle intensified as it went up his nose and behind his eyes. For a few long seconds, he had to squeeze his eyes shut. 'ahh…ahhhh..a.a.a…ahhhhhhrrrrrrgggghhhhssssssmmmmpppfff' he exploded, the car suddenly veering off the road. Sam instantly launched himself at the wheel to help keep it steady.

"Dean, that's enough. You can't keep going like this! Let's stop somewhere!" the youngest pleaded. He knew how much his brother would be against the idea but he'd rather disappoint him than let the both of them get killed.

"Zorry Zabby, can'd do dhat" Dean tried as his own words escaped his comprehension through all that muffled talk. He saw from the corner of his eyes that his brother was ready to argue, but he didn't leave the kid any time to come up with a retort. 'eeeeehhhhhhhhssshhhhhhhhaaaaggghhhh' he sneezed out, hand instantly flying to his leaky nose.

"That's it, man. You don't want to stop, fine. In that case, I'm driving" Sam stated. He wasn't even offering his brother a choice. Dean's endeavor of proving himself to Sam was cut short by another loud sneeze that almost sent them flying towards the ditch.

"Dean, let me drive. Do you want to get us both killed?" Sam was serious and he meant business. Dean finally conceded and dragged his aching muscles to the backseat of the car. Sam softly wrapped his big brother in a blanket and gave him a couple of cold pills before settling into the passenger seat.

A thought occurred to him and enlarged the grin on his face. He put a _Radiohead_ tape in the cassette player and turned the volume up. It took two seconds for his brother to moan distastefully.

"Hey, what the hell is that? _The ballad of the emo kid_? What happened to rock and roll, man?" Dean yammered. Sam laughed at his brother's bitching.

"House rules, Dean. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole" Sam announced triumphantly. Dean sighed loudly. "Hey don't quote me to me, you dork!" he teased. Sam peeked at Dean from the inner mirror and giggled.

"And keep your eyes on the road. You don't get to wreck my baby" Dean warned which earned him a snort. "I mean it, Sam. Anything happens to her, you're dead" the eldest threatened. Sam's smile softened.

They went on and silence settled for a while. But it was too good to be true and quiet wasn't part of their vocabulary.

"Dude! Slow down, this isn't a race car" Dean blurted out suddenly.

"Like you're one to talk, Dean! I know what I'm doing, okay" Sam complained. He wasn't about to let his brother tell him what to do, on top of everything else. They reached a town and Sam took a left on the main street.

"Is your blinker optional at purchase, Sam?"

"It is as much as is the gag I carry with me. Want me to use 'em" he retorted quickly.

Dean hadn't been expecting such a comeback and he blinked in surprise. Sam's lips tugged at the corner. He was proud he'd managed to shut his brother off.

"Smartass" Dean finally growled. They reached the back road and Sam started speeding up again. To his surprise, there was a pothole and he was too late to avoid it. Dean cried out from the back seat.

"For Christ's sake, Sam! Can you run into it a little faster please?"

Sam bit his bottom lip. He spotted another pothole and heeded his brother's request by speeding just a little – not enough to screw with the transmission but enough to jar his big brother. Dean vociferated and cursed between sneezes. Sam lost his self control burst out laughing. Dean rolled his eyes in defeat.

"Alright. Truce. I won't make any more comment if you just stop hurting me and my baby" Dean conceded. Sam giggled triumphantly. "Deal" he concluded.

Dean's eyes softened and he allowed himself a smile. He felt the car speed up as Sam pushed the pedal down. He frowned and wiped a sniffle with his sleeve. "Hey, your feet heavy or somethin'?"

"Dean" Sam reminded menacingly. The deal came back to Dean's mind. "Sorry" he apologized as his nose twitched in a desperate attempt to hold everything in. He soon lost his battle and the loud 'aaarrrghhhsshhhmmm' rattled inside the vehicle.

"Bless you" Sam said with a smile. "And by the way, it's my baby and I, Dean"

"Geek" Dean snorted, wiping his nose in the crook of his arm.


End file.
